I'm sitting here. It's Late. My pint of Jack Daniel's is half empty so I'm writing. Gotta write.
Can't scream. My girlfriend is sleeping. Don't want to wake her. She's pregnant, you know.
I work for the post office, I've got a pregnant girlfriend. A baby daughter on the way. And I still like porn. That feels wrong, you know? "Dads Who Like Porn" on the next "Tyra". Can't be a dad. Can't even barely be a letter carrier. Or a boyfriend.
Eh, to much booze, probably. To much Bukowski, too. What a prick that guy was.
Don't know what to do about all this. My life is crazy. So normal. So crazy. I love my girlfriend and I already love my unborn baby girl. Daughter. Harder to say/write daughter. Harder to think it.
Makes it very real. Although, also feels real good. Because I do already love her. Silly. Crazy.
Both of us want to get married, but we're both against it too. Fuck marriage, is where we're coming from. Sort of. Why is our love, our union, less meaningful than some married couple who hates each other under the cozy cover of documents and blood tests? I guess the mutual commitment issues probably have something to do with it too. Cough cough.
Still we want do it. Got too.
I was going to write about work, but fuck that. It's just another dumb bureaucracy. The fighting is fun though. Getting in trouble is what keeps me going. With out that, the job would really suck.
Sigh.
